crotching tiger hidden awkwardness.

First of all, my laptop, for some reason Mac won't explain, is hotter than backdraft and burning my lap. I've sitting here practically sweating and not knowing why. I then realized that the noise of an auxilary fan I had been hearing for the last 20 minutes was in fact coming from my MacBook. Now I have to flip over and lay on my stomach, which only gives me about 10 minutes for the neck cramp kicks in. In order to relieve the cramp I lower my head, and and rest it on my arm....just a rest...rest...whoa! whats that dingy noise? I fell asleep on the keys, and MacBook doesn't understand. Whoa whats this! all the little icons at the bottom are on ridalin, they're bouncing up and down. I cant get to them all. ah! STOP! still bouncing, and now the auxilary fan is back on. dammit.

Anyways, where was I? Oh yea, I got off work early. Too late go out, but early enough to feel like a loser if I stay in. Due to lack of offers, I have taken the latter. Actually there was one offer, its my friend's birthday today, theres a surprise party for him tomorrow, but tonight him and a friend (whom he's dating), asked me to join them for a movie and ice cream. Alright, let's break this down. It's your birthday, its 9:30pm, and you are inviting me to watch a movie, in the dark and eat ice cream, the dessert of love might I add, with you and your girlfriend.....hmm. There is nothing more painful than acting normal while people spoon. You look at the wall while talking to them, in order to avoid eye contact. Of course they (the couple) totally don't care, and you know they are both looking directly at you, happy as can be, and you're struggling to keep your eyes glued to the wall or that one object in the room (lamp, table, shoe) that you've designated as your point of focus, so you don't have to see their bodies pressed up against each other. If it so happens that your eyes do slip, its almost as if you're on drugs.....your eyes wander wearily like a drunken sailor, passing over the entire room, eventually landing in one place. their crotches. AH! you quickly look at their faces and smile....struggling to recall what the discussion was about, and asking yourself "did they see? they're still smiling....they saw....maybe love is blind...what were you doing, where are you? is it cold? you're cold, get a sweatshirt, go now, go get a sweatshirt....and die on the way out of the room". Your voice is not the only one, lets not forget the couple loving it up on the couch, "Michaela? what were you saying? I'm not cold...what? you're funny. Where are you going, Mich?". Then there's the ghost of awkwardness looming above you screaming , "CROTCH! SPOON! BUTT! KISS! CROTCH! WILD ANIMAL! SPOON! CROTCH! JUNGLE! BUTT! HORMONE!" Don't say it Michaela....tune it out.

It's all over now, the movie has started. It's dark, and you can't even see them. Safe at last. Uh oh, what's this? Another voice......its the ghost of sad, melancholy unsexiness "Siiiinnggglleee, you are siinnnggle". I'm single. Dammit.

Alright, I'm eating goldfish, because they are a baked snack, and watching Beaches on the WE network.